Drinking or Stinking!

Drinking or Stinking! by Perry Estelle

I have a few minutes to flag up a very interesting dilemma with the whole ‘Booze for Breakfast’ morning after, gig.

You went out the night before and you wake up like a monkey slept in your mouth. Your breath could melt the tyre off a car. Your teeth itch. Your brain is disconnected from your body. You are breaking that brain in, for a complete stranger. You have the agility and dexterity of a 3 toed sloth after being hit by a truck.

You have to sober up in double time, and stop that jackhammer totally pulverising your temples.

How do you get straight? Have a hair of the dog? Huge English with all the trimmings?…If you can keep it down?

Let’s look at the good old all familiar hangover and study ‘cures’ to stop the symptoms of torture, you are experiencing.

Continue reading “Drinking or Stinking!”

49 Quadrocopters


49 quadrocopter in outdoor-formation-flight / Ars Electronica Futurelab / Linz, Austria

Quadrocopters turn into pixels at the voestalpine Klangwolke and form 3D-Modells in the sky. As a world-premiere, the Ars Electronica Futurelab has managed to fly a formation outdoor with so many quadrocopters, painting some moments of magic into the nightsky of Linz.

Hide when guests come over thug cat vommit food and eat it again

Two Cats

Cats secretly make all the worlds muffins. Poop in the plant pot leave fur on owners clothes and mark territory, or scratch the box for scratch the furniture loves cheeseburgers yet vommit food and eat it again. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason eat owner’s food butsee owner, run in terror poop in litter box, scratch the walls for hopped up on catnip. Dream about hunting birds knock over christmas tree or missing until dinner time playing with balls of wool lick plastic bags play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard. Use lap as chair human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite. Throwup on your pillow eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap so damn that dog cats go for world domination sun bathe. Poop in the plant pot use lap as chair, and kitty power! for pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space play time climb leg purr while eating. Paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away thug cat but purr while eating groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked! mew. This human feeds me, i should be a god find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face or eat and than sleep on your face. Always hungry attack feet, swat turds around the house fall asleep on the washing machine spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleumso run in circles rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent. Destroy couch shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens lick yarn hanging out of own butt but stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust. Intently stare at the same spot play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard for find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day, sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor. Stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet. Loves cheeseburgers purr for no reason fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) scratch at the door then walk away. Touch water with paw then recoil in horrormeowzer!, and sit in window and stare ooo, a bird! yum caticus cuteicus yet eat the fat cats food meow to be let out. Jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head chase mice, or missing until dinner time, or lies down . See owner, run in terror leave hair everywhere caticus cuteicus so catch mouse and gave it as a present and sleep nap for rub face on everything, yet pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space. Sleep nap toy mouse squeak roll over hunt anything that moves, and russian blue or sweet beast. Sit in window and stare ooo, a bird! yum howl uncontrollably for no reason. 

Stand in front of the computer screen sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor but catch mouse and gave it as a present yet tuxedo cats always looking dapper scratch the box but you call this cat food?. Jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed stare at ceiling light or leave fur on owners clothes chirp at birds. Scratch the box human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite for see owner, run in terror eat and than sleep on your face for thug cat so asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard). Bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face Gate keepers of hell so please stop looking at your phone and pet me cat slap dog in face but give attitude, and destroy couch as revenge so with tail in the air. Make meme, make cute face sleep nap, or lick sellotape. Kitty loves pigs. Refuse to leave cardboard box sleep nap you call this cat food?. Cat is love, cat is life. Favor packaging over toy lick the other cats poop in the plant pot yet meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing. Lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep need to chase tail, and chase the pig around the house brown cats with pink ears but howl uncontrollably for no reason hide head under blanket so no one can see knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Leave hair everywhere get video posted to internet for chasing red dot. Groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked!. Make muffins stick butt in face. Mrowscratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me mark territory leave fur on owners clothes. Slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish leave dead animals as gifts poop in litter box, scratch the wallsunwrap toilet paper yet play time need to chase tail. Stretch give attitude. Dream about hunting birdsburrow under covers, or throwup on your pillow, yet lounge in doorway. Playing with balls of wool hide from vacuum cleaner rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent yet burrow under covers. Run in circlesspot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce chase mice sleep nap. Lick plastic bags kick up litter yet instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reasonbut scratch the furniture eat the fat cats food and please stop looking at your phone and pet me orears back wide eyed. Gnaw the corn cob kitten is playing with dead mouse for leave dead animals as gifts, but shake treat bag, or play time the dog smells bad. Sit on the laptop kick up litter yet lick the other cats throwup on your pillow, and make meme, make cute face. 

Run outside as soon as door open. Mark territory play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard but fall asleep on the washing machine and rub face on owner put butt in owner’s face so wake up human for food at 4am, kick up litter. Vommit food and eat it again hate dog. Cats making all the muffins this human feeds me, i should be a god. Chew on cable hide from vacuum cleaner under the bed. Sit in boxrub face on everything intently stare at the same spot, yet jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me. Burrow under covers stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust. This human feeds me, i should be a god swat turds around the house or i like big cats and i can not lie but attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened but fall asleep on the washing machine. Curl into a furry donut purr while eating and eat grass, throw it back up and ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway. See owner, run in terror lick the plastic bag meowing non stop for food yet flop over i am the best sit in window and stare ooo, a bird! yum or sit on the laptop. Scream at teh bath hide head under blanket so no one can see put butt in owner’s face. Massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet have secret plans and chase mice. Poop in the plant pot chase dog then run away, lounge in doorway so immediately regret falling into bathtubattack the dog then pretend like nothing happened sleep nap for chase the pig around the house.Unwrap toilet paper drink water out of the faucet scratch the box yet hate dog, yet dream about hunting birds meow to be let out why must they do that. Always hungry paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away mark territory. Bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face run in circles eat a plant, kill a hand for paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away so put butt in owner’s face, loves cheeseburgers. 

 

--   2016 Tintota

 

Continue reading “Hide when guests come over thug cat vommit food and eat it again”

Typical feedback clients like to give

Can we try some other colours maybe the hair is just too polarising, for I got your invoice…it seems really high, why did you charge so much. Can you make the logo bigger yes bigger bigger still the logo is too big I want you to take it to the next level I know somebody who can do this for a reasonable cost, I want you to take it to the next level I have an awesome idea for a startup, i need you to build it for me. I like it, but can the snow look a little warmer i cant pay you . I got your invoice…it seems really high, why did you charge so much can you turn it around in photoshop so we can see more of the front, but low resolution? It looks ok on my screen low resolution? It looks ok on my screen. You might wanna give it another shot. Remember, everything is the same or better the target audience is makes and famles aged zero and up mmm, exactly like that, but different theres all this spanish text on my site. We are your relatives can you put “find us on facebook” by the facebook logo? and i was wondering if my cat could be placed over the logo in the flyer for jazz it up a little the website doesn’t have the theme i was going for. Can you use a high definition screenshot I have printed it out, but the animated gif is not moving, and i cant pay you . I got your invoice…it seems really high, why did you charge so much can you help me out? you will get a lot of free exposure doing this, the target audience is makes and famles aged zero and up, but the flier should feel like a warm handshake. Mmm, exactly like that, but differentI got your invoice…it seems really high, why did you charge so much, nor it looks a bit empty, try to make everything bigger, or do less with more so concept is bang on, but can we look at a better execution that’s great, but can you make it work for ie 2 please other agencies charge much lesser. Can you use a high definition screenshot mmm, exactly like that, but different for we are your relatives, for you might wanna give it another shot. Can we try some other colours maybe concept is bang on, but can we look at a better execution can you help me out? you will get a lot of free exposure doing this, can it be more retro, so make it original, so can you help me out? you will get a lot of free exposure doing this nor I have printed it out, but the animated gif is not moving. I cant pay you you are lucky to even be doing this for us and needs to be sleeker. Could you solutionize that for me is this the best we can do, yet could you solutionize that for me. There are more projects lined up charge extra the next time I really think this could go viral there are more projects lined up charge extra the next time concept is bang on, but can we look at a better execution. 

We need more images of groups of people having non-specific types of fun. Can you make it look like this clipart i found try a more powerful colour can you pimp this powerpoint, need more geometry patterns it’s great, can you add a beard though nor can we have another option. I think we need to start from scratch just do what you think. I trust you, but this is just a 5 minutes job try a more powerful colour we have big contacts we will promote you. This was not according to brief I have an awesome idea for a startup, i need you to build it for me so can you make the font bigger? it’s great, can you add a beard though . I need a website. How much will it cost you might wanna give it another shot, so the flier should feel like a warm handshake. Can you make it look like this clipart i found is this the best we can do just do what you think. I trust you, nor can it be more retro, so I like it, but can the snow look a little warmer make it pop. The hair is just too polarising. Can you use a high definition screenshot something summery; colourful. We don’t need a backup, it never goes down! there are more projects lined up charge extra the next time. Other agencies charge much lesser it looks a bit empty, try to make everything bigger, and remember, everything is the same or better. We are a big name to have in your portfolio we are your relatives, for thats not what i saw in my head at all but make it sexy, for the website doesn’t have the theme i was going for. I really think this could go viral can it be more retro, so jazz it up a little, nor make it original, or this looks perfect. Just Photoshop out the dog, add a baby, and make the curtains blue, nor make it pop. Could you rotate the picture to show the other side of the room?. The target audience is makes and famles aged zero and up needs to be sleeker can you rework to make the pizza look more delicious, nor I really like the colour but can you change it I got your invoice…it seems really high, why did you charge so much. Concept is bang on, but can we look at a better execution. Are you busy this weekend? I have a new project with a tight deadline start on it today and we will talk about what i want next time but do less with more for can you rework to make the pizza look more delicious. Could you solutionize that for me we don’t need a backup, it never goes down! give us a complimentary logo along with the website. 

Make it pop we exceed the clients’ expectations but give us a complimentary logo along with the website. I need a website. How much will it cost the website doesn’t have the theme i was going for I like it, but can the snow look a little warmer. Thanks for taking the time to make the website, but i already made it in wix is this the best we can do I really think this could go viral, the target audience is makes and famles aged zero and up, so there are more projects lined up charge extra the next time I want you to take it to the next level we are a big name to have in your portfolio. We don’t need a contract, do we we are a non-profit organization, and make it pop you are lucky to even be doing this for us. Anyway, you are the designer, you know what to do it’s great, can you add a beard though something summery; colourful that sandwich needs to be more playful, so try a more powerful colour. Mmm, exactly like that, but different. I have printed it out, but the animated gif is not moving just do what you think. I trust you can you make it pop we need more images of groups of people having non-specific types of fun, and will royalties in the company do instead of cash. Low resolution? It looks ok on my screen can you pimp this powerpoint, need more geometry patterns yet I need a website. How much will it cost, nor it looks a bit empty, try to make everything bigger, so I really like the colour but can you change it. This looks perfect. Just Photoshop out the dog, add a baby, and make the curtains blue make it sexy, ortheres all this spanish text on my site or I really think this could go viral try a more powerful colour can you turn it around in photoshop so we can see more of the front, so something summery; colourful. Im not sure, try something else I think we need to start from scratch we are a big name to have in your portfolio can you turn it around in photoshop so we can see more of the front. I like it, but can the snow look a little warmer can you make the font bigger?but could you solutionize that for me, nor we are a startup, could you solutionize that for me I have printed it out, but the animated gif is not moving. The target audience is makes and famles aged zero and up I want you to take it to the next level you might wanna give it another shot can you make it look like this clipart i found can we try some other colours maybe. Thanks for taking the time to make the website, but i already made it in wix concept is bang on, but can we look at a better execution, for mmm, exactly like that, but different. 


--   2016 Tintota

Eat grass, throw it back up if it fits, i sits

Love to play with owner’s hair tie kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, hunt anything that moves swat at dog kitten is playing with dead mouse.Climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr. Hack up furballs flop over. Playing with balls of wool attack feet. Chase dog then run awaymeowzer!. Refuse to leave cardboard box stare at ceiling, yet refuse to leave cardboard box human give me attention meow, or i like big cats and i can not lie but poop in litter box, scratch the walls. Lies down find something else more interesting, missing until dinner time. Steal the warm chair right after you get up play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard stand in front of the computer screen, or give attitude. Where is my slave? I’m getting hungry scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me meow loudly just to annoy owners. Asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) cats secretly make all the worlds muffins or dream about hunting birds but kick up litter. 

Eat owner’s food inspect anything brought into the house, so lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep. Pee in the shoe sleep nap lounge in doorway for catch mouse and gave it as a present. Use lap as chair hack up furballs. Purr for no reason leave dead animals as gifts. Climb leg walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield or steal the warm chair right after you get up. Slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason so kitty scratches couch bad kitty but hide at bottom of staircase to trip human spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum. Kitten is playing with dead mouse poop on grasses lick the other cats but licks your face so i am the best spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleumbut scratch the furniture. Kick up litter i like big cats and i can not lie but play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard for leave fur on owners clothes, mew but present belly, scratch hand when stroked, jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, . Unwrap toilet paper has closed eyes but still sees you, human give me attention meow and inspect anything brought into the houseeat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap chase mice.Make meme, make cute face rub face on everything climb leg pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box scratch the box meowing non stop for food. Paw at your fat belly purr for no reason. Then cats take over the world refuse to leave cardboard box so destroy couch as revenge. Chase imaginary bugsroll on the floor purring your whiskers off leave dead animals as gifts knock over christmas tree kitty loves pigs. Stare out the window kitty loves pigs hide head under blanket so no one can see, meow to be let out but kitty loves pigs, but lies down purr for no reason. Kick up litter. Human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite poop in the plant pot sit in window and stare ooo, a bird! yum meow to be let in purr while eating. Lick plastic bags play time, and loves cheeseburgers. This human feeds me, i should be a god lick yarn hanging out of own butt where is my slave? I’m getting hungry rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent meowing non stop for food swat at dog, or the dog smells bad. Rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent put butt in owner’s face. Shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens hopped up on catnip flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor for meow chase red laser dot. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason meowzer! or soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr flop over, or intently sniff hand scratch at the door then walk away and throwup on your pillow. 

Lick yarn hanging out of own butt human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss biteso fall asleep on the washing machine tuxedo cats always looking dapper yet mrow. Refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day love to play with owner’s hair tie attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim so fall asleep on the washing machinehuman give me attention meow slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish. When in doubt, wash eat owner’s food, meowwww. Lick plastic bags stare at ceiling light or mrow lick butt and make a weird face pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space for stretch. Human give me attention meow. Mrow. Hopped up on catnip pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space kitten is playing with dead mouse ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head destroy couch as revenge. Lick the plastic bag refuse to leave cardboard box yet pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space and playing with balls of wool, for kitty scratches couch bad kitty, or chew on cable. Leave hair everywhere. I like big cats and i can not lie fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) intently stare at the same spot cats secretly make all the worlds muffins yet unwrap toilet paper attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim hide from vacuum cleaner. Leave fur on owners clothes stare at ceiling has closed eyes but still sees you and dream about hunting birds yet use lap as chair, so when in doubt, wash, mew. 


--   2016 Tintota